my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
alright, this tells you a little about the people whose names appear in here from time to time.
elsbe (her, she) - elsbe is still the holder of the record shortest amout of time that i've let someone in: two weeks. she's extremely fun to talk to and do stuff with on a regular, typically daily basis... especially since eva jordan spencer neon's been broken down since the beinning of winter vacation.
we met through being friends with kristen, and we've all three got cute little alien monkeys... that i sometimes wonder about -"do they still know where theirs are?" that sort of thing. we're constantly making each other laugh or feel better, whichever needs to be done at the time... even with all of the fighting. feh, it's worth it. i love her to death and would change nothing about her or how we came to be friends... and it's been proven - nothing can keep us from being friends with each other or finding a way to talk/spend time together.
by the way everyone, alert the media. it appears that said crush has mostly melted away... though there's still that whole 'i liked ____ once, somethin'll always be there' thing. wo0t for me, i suppose.
kristen (the girl, my woman) - one of my big sisters, also middle child of the three musketeers. things have been... well, less active between the two of us as of late, but her meal account at umkc is keeping us in contact ::grins::. nah, we'd be talking anyway. i'd never leave mah woman in the dust!
we ended up meeting in 8th grade thru megan. she's been -in the past, and sometimes now, depending upon how much is on her plate- one of the most understanding and thoughtful people i've ever known, and still makes me happy that i'd been forced to go to sumner.
rachel - rachel is... rachel. i don't really know how to describe her here, nor do i really know how to relate her to myself at this moment in time. a love interest with a *lot* of potential, possibly? she's attracted to singers and i'm attracted to artists of any media (including music)... who could ask for more?
it hasn't even been a year yet since we met through e-spin the bottle (don't knock it, it was a bordom thing when i was a bit younger that i never really un-signed up for). something made me email her back, even though she doesn't live here... and i was enchanted. and apparantly so was she. i look forward to talking to her whenever i can, as her conversations are typically a bit more... i don't know... intriguing somehow... than those with most others who i'm around on a regular basis.
i think i'm in love with this girl.
ashley - (ashers) my big sis of seven years now. one of the extreme few people from middle school that i still speak to, and i'm really glad that we're still friends...
she's up at ksu now, so i don't get to see her that often... but we talk on the phone or online at least once a week -daily there for a while. i've found i actually talk to her more often than most if not all other people from my graduating year in high school, which is surprising when you take into account how little we got to talk during the last two years.
sasha - she saved me from getting beat up in the back of a bus when i was, like, a second grader. we re-met my junior year of high school... i thought i remembered her name from somewhere, lol. we're finally in school together again, and what's more fun is the fact that she's in choir with us! even in the alto section! then of course, there's the break that i have before and after my classes while waiting on elsbe, so we're found takling in the pit then... or trudging through 293750974325 pounds of mud on ren fest weekends =).
all who know her beware, she's got a really great kick. never piss her off to the point of getting kicked in the ass, because she will find and injure your ass bone. trust me, i know from experience -_-;;. she's also one to give up her time to help out with something she otherwise would have nothing to do with, i.e. the sds dance last year. a wonderful friend i'd do anything for.
julie - met her through elsbe before i even started going to kckcc... was introduced as another elsbe, actually. elsbe had fully believed that she'd found someone just like her, though that's changed now. well, they're not *totally* alike. generally the first to volunteer to drive whenever we go to do things, and is killing herslef with work and school right now by working full time with twenty one credit hours. we shall all see how that goes.
jessica (the storm) - known each other since i was a freshman or rookie, but really started talking my junior year year in aep and outside... though this summer had brought about circumstances in which we weren't speaking for a few months. though thst's apparantly over now, and i was sitting around while her hair was being done for her wedding =).
and by the way, she's the original mommy of storm... yanno, that really big black cat that's probably pictured or will be pictured in here sometime.
shannon - another friend of elsbe's. i knew her sister heather sophomore year and i'd heard of her but i hadn't really spoken to her.
last year it was 'normal' again since heather was in classes with me while shannon was up at kckcc with everyone else, but now we share the same choir class(es) again and get to talk on a semi-regular basis. she was one of my alto section choir buddies from junior year, and she's always got some form of humor to share. the cmenc trip to wichita'll be a blast!
megan - the only person i can honestly say i met in the back of a bus singing songs from grease. then there were the boy band songs... but we're not getting into that. we were both in the same art class last year, which made for a bit more time to talk and everything. i loved her works in there and i hope she knows it. i found that she made closer friends with procrastination than i ever have, which wasn't really helping her status as a full IB student.
jake - yes, the infamous hobo. this would be the guy that both kristen and elsbe like/d and which has started a but of turmoil in the three musketeers, but that's all taken care of now...
he and kristen went out for... months. they broke up not too long ago, and since he's not going to school near here i have little to no update on him aside from he's rather inconsiderate about actually calilng people back and things... jeez, i could have been a better boyfriend than him, and i'm not a boy ::blinks::.
bobbie (bob) - you know that old description in which i hate her with the passion of a thousand suns> not so true anymore. we've been pretty good friends since about this time last year, if nothing else so she can get a hold of elsbe and such. she's really not so bad after we had our 'polygon of turth' meeting during last winter vacation. it's not as bad as it once was, though there are times when we get on each other's nerves every once in a while.
saibur - saibur would be my best aim friend who lives in new jersey with a grandmother who lives here... so we see each other a few times a year ^_^! and yes, she is a "squealy somber lovin' fool."
she can understand a lot of things, and is really good at consoling people and i admire that in someone of her age. can't wait to see who she ends up turning out to be in the future.
lisa - she's really the first person i met online, and has become my little sister. she's the one who's basically shown me who i really am...and i'm glad she has. i dont know how she puts up with me sometimes, but she does, regardless, and i'm eternally grateful for that *._.*. she and i have been through a lot together, including depression, and i'll never be able to forget it. she also helped to introduce me to wicca. we've lost a lot of contact in recent weeks, which is starting to hurt a bit of the friendship but isn't totally killing it. i actually miss her..
kathy - kathy and i have known each other since, like, birth. our moms were elementary school friends. we didn't get along till sophomore year, but she's someone that i would consider a best friend now. one of the first to know the real me, heh heh.
online friends
mika (the ninja) - and mika would be my best online friend as of now. she's a little sister that... well, she's just mika. there really isn't much else to say about her. we can actually have serious conversations amidst the strange and random ones. she's been keeping me pretty grounded when i need it and has put up with/listened to a lot from me in the past... i appreciate it. i love 'er, hehe. we haven't talked as much recently since i haven't been online as much, but i know she's still there =)
sev - we actually went out for a couple of months, which is saying something. i think i let myself fall too fast though, and it ended. she's a strange yet sensitive soul who is very outgoing... especially with the males of our species. eventually we're gonna meet up someday and have a passionate affair in a bathroom stall but until then, she's a good friend who i wish nothing but the best for. ::shrugs:: que sera sera, eh? oh well, i love mai sevvy =).
blaze - blaze, i met in one of the d-land chats. i don't really go there anymore, think i did for about 3 days. we... haven't really spoken too much for a while, but she's a bright girl who knows much more about life than i do, and i actually want to be a little like her.
christina - (mousify) we actually rarely talk anymore... i miss her. of course, we met through chats with blaze and mika and sai and all of the original group.
oddly enough, i see (or at least used to see... not sure now) a lot of me in her, with the helping people and all... seems kinda lost at times too. she's my my best friend, and it's really fun talking to her whenever she can get online... random funny things keep happening around her, and she tells me about them. it's fun. then there's the harder times, she seems to make them easier for me and i attempt to do the same for her.
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.