my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
i don't really feel like being here. i wanna be at home... probably in bed... where i don't have to deal with anyone, and they don't have to deal with me. as it is, i'm sitting in the pit with four... make that three other people while i write this -sasha left just now. it's taking a lot for me to sit here, not to mention it's cold. i'd much rather be in the corner asleep, but everyone's talking and such, so i can't really do that.
i feel guilty. because i'm putting her through so much more stress than she's already dealing with, and i'm not helping. she understands why... i barely understand why... and she says it's alright... but i really don't think that it is. and if it is, i really don't see why it should be. i've been a bitch to everyone -including her- and it can't really be explained to anyone. i'm missing classes because i know i'll be a pain in the ass to deal with... ::mental note: must go to math today:: i just...
..can't do this right now...
right now
singing: give unto me // evanescence
talking to: you
wishing: i weren't dumb
feeling: frusterated
wanting: what i can't have
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.