my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
if you want deep, check the entry before this. i actually wrote a real entry last week...
so i had to quit the job, very soon after i started -the third day. was told that if i thought school was more important, i should just not come in anymore. so on friday of last week, i brought my cap and shirt back in and quit. i don't think i even get paid for my first day of work, to be honest... and it's not even really worth it, as i believe it was only about thirty to thirty five dollars that i earned before taxes.
i'll soon be able to burn all of my music to disks again, as the computer will be going in to (finally) get de-bugged so it can be used normally again. right now, i'm on a computer with windows 98 that daddy bought for extra storage and to use online whenever the other is out of comission. this one's already got an anti-virus on it that'll keep it virus free for... ever, as it doesn't expire. unlike norton, which can suck my balls... the ones that i actually have... yes...
it's not even november yet, and i go in next friday to see about enrolling for spring. i'm hating school, but it's sure going by a lot faster than i thought it would.
i was in the back room on the phone with elsbe last night, and i swore i heard mom yelling at me to go into the living room. it's the first time i'd really been in there while alone in the house (or with daddy asleep) while on the phone since she died. i could have sworn i heard her call me.
haven't heard from rachel. where are you? you're welcome to text me while my im forwarding is on... and to call my cell whenever you want. wondering what all's been going on.
..so a fifteen year old boy is apparantly interested in me. called me last night and stayed on the phone for a good fourty five minutes or so. um...
1) he's a sophomore in high school.
2) he's heinzi's age.
3) he's a boy. ew?
so i don't know how to tell him. thing is, he shoudl know i'm a lesbian as he read my profile someplace and i say it in every.single.profile. i have online. makes little no no sense to me that he hasn't picked up on it, especially the way that i was agreeing with him about girls in the media that he liked (that i didn't necessarily, but i was trying okay?).
and actually i should go now as i have to be up at seven for theory... though i'm not really tired. i actually did have something to say when i started this entry... then i started deviating to other things. meh. maybe i'll be able to write tomorrow? g'night for now, everyone.
right now
singing: a place for my head // linkin park
talking to: you
wishing: today had been friday
feeling: tired
wanting: a snuggle buddy
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.