my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
the storm's really broken up. makes me wanna smite all beings of the male human race, at least the straight ones who aren't my daddy. makes me glad i'm bi-leaning-toward-lesbian. it depresses me that a guy i was friends with a while back who i thought i knew better would do what he did. you'd think he'd at least wait a week or something before asking another girl out. no, he did what someone else was talking about last night and jumped right on in - an eighth grader no less. i wonder what she feels like knowing that she's a rebound, or if she's even put that together.
dealing with everyone else's things and talking with her while she was here for a bit have made things subside, which is a major plus. right now the only problem i'm having is writing the paper that was due friday in english that i wasn't there to have to turn in anyway. i can't keep my mind on it, but this time for better reasons. it's getting pushed further and further out of my mind, which is good. i just wonder why it came back so strong, why it wasn't just a subconscious thing or something that was a smaller nagging thing. it makes sense, but then again it doesn't because it didn't do it the first time. i'm sure it'd be fine if things were to happen again, i'd know how to restrain it and do other things.
easter dinner consisted of a chicken toaster and chili and cheese tater tots from sonic. yep, that's a holiday favorite. today's been pretty good, actually. it was fun having her around for a while, as she's ungrounded since her mother inadvertantly re-hurt her hurt finger. she dressed up my amy tiger like madonna from the eighties... very funny pictures. and a couple rather interesting pictures of me+her. and for some reason or another we found ourselves looking at prom dresses until the storm was online and we started trying to talk to her. she had to leave soon after in somewhat of a rush since julie called her saying she was on the way to pick her up. oh yeah, she rushed. i'm somewhat familiar with that rush.
and now to that english paper... wish me luck -_-;;.
right now
singing: bleed // puddle of mudd
talking to: the girl, the ninja
wishing: i dunno
feeling: better, actually
wanting: her to feel better
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.