my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
i just had the most awesome, but most unreal dream ever. i swear i thought it was actually real while i was having it, until i ended up in the stages where i was starting to wake up and weird things were happening.. and it got relatively bad.
i don't remember how it started, but someone i knew had an extra ticket to an evanescence concert. i was going to call her and look around for another ticket, but she was working or something that night and there was no way she'd be able to go. so i went with this person, and we were third row in some hall. what was kind of strange was the fact that sev was there with her camera, and i'd forgotten mine. she let me use hers to take pictures and said that she would send the pictures to me once she got to a computer. i kissed her and said thanks (?), and commenced to taking pictures of amy. i noticed every once in a while she was looking over towards me while i was singing along with the songs and didn't have the camera up to my face, and i swore i saw a smile and wink one time. i continued singing and taking pictures, using sev's zoom feature like there was no tomorrow (though i'm not sure how good her zoom actually is). there were some beautiful shots of amy by the end of the concert.
i was standing at one of the doors to the auditorium after the concert, seeing if my parents were going to come to the door to pick me up or if i would have to walk back out to the end of the parking lot (which was about a mile long o_o). while i was staring out there trying to see the road, i saw raven black hair go past me and when i turned, i saw the back of one of amy's designed dresses and her hair flowing behind her. she turned around to talk to someone, and i caught myself actually checking her out. she had been looking down and something, then looked up at me... she smiled and invited me over to her with her eyes and a nod. (only then did i realize i was in my homemade concert shirt, which made me a bit embarassed.) i asked her why she asked me over and she told me because i was intriguing.
i followed her around for a while, as i still had about an hour to blow since i thought there'd be another opening band or two, and we talked. not the usual way how a fan and an adoration would talk, but how friends would talk, or people who are trying to get to know each other better. amy saw the time and had to leave, but she pulled me over and gave me a hug first, saying i'll see you tomorrow night, right? we're doing three concerts in a row here. without thinking, i said of course, how could i not be here for you? then i realized what i said... i didn't have a ticket for the next night's show, nor the night after that. it was then when she tossed two tickets at me from the second step of the bus entrance, leaning from an arm holding the doorway. one for each show. front row. don't worry about being backstage, you've got me after the show already. as i watched her get onto the bus i yelled one last thing. will you sign something for me? she stepped back down to the second step and stood there again... she looked so beautiful when she would do that. no, i don't do autographs on the first date.
::stare, blink:: this was a date?
she smiled at me again and pulled herself up the steps of the bus. i watched her as she made it to where she was going, then turned to walk away. i started walking to the gates and talking to myself.
she called it a date... i haven't seen anything anywhere telling me that she was anything but straight, so why would she call it a date? i told her i'm bi and that i've always liked her... maybe she's being like someone else i know and using that. ..doubting it. she really is captivating though... and those eyes...
it's then when i saw daddy's truck, so i walked over to it still in a trance. he asked me how the concert went, and i told him that it was the most amazing thing ever.
...............
and this is turning into some sort of fanfic... and i'm making a part two entry since this one is so long. hope someone's finding this entertaining, lmao...
right now
singing: my immortal // evanescence
talking to: josh
wishing: ::sigh::
feeling: cuddly, still
wanting: ..dreams to come true
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.