my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
my parents are leaving overnight and not telling me where they're going. gwen is either going someplace or sleeping from now to tomorrow. my only hope of human contact is elsbe when she brings her car over in the morning for dad to look at while he's off work. and why is this happening?
because i'm the most horrible, bitchiest person in the world who has no respect for anyone and is the most ungreatful person ever.
...
my parents used to pull tihs more often than they do now, but back then i liked being alone. now, i more or less fear it more than anything else. i hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. they know that, i know that, but it doesn't matter. let's make landa put up with her bigger fears more often! it'll be fun! first the bunnies right next to the mast ambulance thing at the fiar yesterday, now this! woooo! partay, partay, partaaaaaaaay!!
right now
singing: like a stone // audioslave
talking to: christina, megan
wishing: more people were online
feeling: more pissed than any of you have seen me before
doing: being lonely?
wanting: to fucking leave
drinking: water
eating: niet
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.