my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
i just got up a few minutes ago. i ended up taking a nap while elsbeth was watching simply irresistable which wasn't enough and made me hella more tired than i was, so right after she left i went to bed. three and a half hours of good, solid sleep will get me through the day/evening/night. i do believe that for the rest of the summer i shall be a night person... the fun part will be rectifying that on the last week before school starts. party, party, partayyy!
...
can you see the dripping sarcasm flowing out of my mouth? yeah, that's what i thought.
aunt connie was the one to call and wake me up for good. (elsbe had called before, and i believe there was a telemarketer i cursed out, though that could have been a dream.) she asked me how my birthday went and about my party, then asked me what i'd gotten. of course i named off the stuff that kristen and elsbeth had given me and forgot about the jacket... i was with mom when it was ordered, so i knew it was coming. we talked about that for a while, then she asked me what i wanted for my birthday. at that particular moment i honestly had no idea and anything i'd wanted floated from my mind, so i responded with wal*mart gift card or something similar to it. so there shall be money sent here with gwen tomorrow afternoon when she gets home from work.
i still find it funny. connie evidently thinks that i'm spoiled as hell and i get entirely too much, yet she's going to give me money. then she was one of the main ones who would have made me that way too. all of my aunts had a hand in spoiling me when i was young, so at a time in my life i'd imagine i was. but now that's different... making her see it will be the interesting part. she was my "favorite aunt" growing up, and originally aunt nonnie because i couldn't say c or k sounds. she and aunt robin would take me and april, sometimes just me, out every weekend to go skating or to a movie or to leaps and bounds (which later was discovery zone for those who want to get skeptical). and when i wanted something? those two would go out of their way to get it for me. yes, i was a spoiled child... but i'm not anymore.
last night at wal*mart, i originally had the intention of finding something for elsbe's birthday while i have money marked off for her and her alone (not birthday money). i picked up quite a few things that i wanted to get myself, but i put all of them back down when i remembered what my money was for. a few years ago i would have had a second thought about that, i would have bought whatever was in my hot little hands, now though... i tend to try and think of meh buddies before myself. most money i end up with i spend on them, which i honestly don't get in my mind because there's so many necessities that i could get and not have my parents worry about. but, that's just the way my mind works. ever since eighth grade, i've started spending more money on my friends than anyone else - including myself - when i have it.
there is cold pizza in the fridge calling my name... yes, i believe that a little lunch is in order. i just need to see when mom eats dinner so i know if i can have more than one slice. bye ya'll =).
right now
singing: seven nation army // white stripes
talking to: jenny, kristen
wishing: it were, like, one int he afternoon
feeling: alright i guess
doing: sneezing... i think i'm allergic to sleep now
wanting: no clue
drinking: sprite
eating: cold hamburger pizza
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.