my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
i swear, this is not my week for keeping my cool. evidently robie made elsbe cry during ladies today. from what i was told, she was singing her solos in front of the class again and robie kept telling her where she was messing up and she got upset to the point of tears. not only that, but while she was crying robie asked her to sing her other song. the hell?! she expects it to sound normal coming from someone who's crying?!
before lunch i went down and stood by hers and kristen's fifth hour and saw kristen down the hall talking to dion. she'd warned kristen that elsbe'd cried in class and kristen warned me as she went in her class. i stood there waiting on either kristen to come back out or for elsbe to get upstairs. elsbe came first and she looked like something was up and i asked her what was wrong (i would have regardless of the warning i got because i could tell). fuck off.
..yeah, i'd say she was just a bit upset.
i leaned on the lockers waiting for kristen to get out to walk with her and elsbe came out first. i wasn't sure if i should follow her or not but part way down the hall she came back and grabbed my arm to walk with her. this seems exactly the same as it was before regionals... except this time the tears came during class/practice, not at lunch. i could see it in her eyes how hurt she was and quite frankly it hurt me too.
there's got to be something going on psychologically with her singing in front of roberson. i've heard her sing both songs plenty of times, including at regionals, and she sounded beautiful. i've never once heard her scoop or sound "like an accordian" when she sings. i have no idea what she sounds like when she sings in front of roberson, but i get a feeling it's not as bad as robie says it is. i swear on my life she's the best singer i've known for most if not all of my life and i haven't heard her actually do any of the things that robie accuses her of except for when she's sick or right after eating something. it just bugs me that robie's on her ass so much about it and.... RAWR!
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