my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
alright, it's settled. not only have i found a new image server for those of us who don't have gold acocunts (this is my personal goal for today and i'm very damn proud of myself for doing so), but ashley and i are either going to chuckie cheese's tomorrow or going to wal-mart supercenter and playing hide and seek or something stupid like that =). it's been quite some time since i've been able to go out and act like a little kid with someone like that and i get a feeling that it's gonna make for a pretty interesting time tomorrow... 'specially cause we have to do it pretty early in the day since she's going to a surprise birthday party tomorrow night.
yes, there was school today. and i actually enjoyed it. very much at that. etymology was really easy cause we were just doing notecards (writing words, writing definitions and parts of speech on the other side), aep i went around to see what i missed in all my classes, sixth hour was singing (duh) and eighth hour was just... eighth hour. it all just almost felt like a breeze, and i loved it.
i underestimated my voice in choir o_o;;. i didn't think that i had it back all that much yet and i hit everything right for the most part, which amazed the holy hell out of me. that just teaches me not to set limits in my mind if i know that i'm capable of a lot better. i'd needed a reminder of that a lot recently and i guess that was just a slap to the face of it.
it seems like i've needed a reminder of a lot of things recently. reminders of what i should know i can do, that people ca-..
...
the subject of my entry just changed.
why does it seem that under achievers seem to make friends with over achievers all the time? wait no, that's just me. kristen, elsbe, ashley, lisa... the first three being national honor society members and lisa would be well on her way if she lived here instead of new york. the first time i talked to elsbe on wednesday she told me that she got a 4.0. later on that night i talked to kristen and she got a 4.1 something. given that i'm not an IB student, i forgot that anything above a 4.0 was even possible to get. i've no clue what ashley ended up getting, but i'm sure it was better than me. i ended up with a 3.1 this quarter and semester. kristen and elsbe are both proud of my report card but if they had gotten it themselves... they'd be more than disappointed.
as stated above, lisa is one of the over achievers. she said that she might have a C in math right now and i took that as a good thing with as much as she's told me she's been struggling with it this year. i mean i used to think that a C was a good grade for math and things related to it so i thought that it was fine. well, lisa's not alright with a C or even a B... it's gotta be an A or an A+. she's never even had a C before, which i find totally baffling. i mean, i was an straight A student until late seventh and early eighth grade, but even i had a weak point where i'd have lower grades sometimes. i'd mess up on a couple tests here and there, not understand a few things, but i'd get it straightened out at some point and get the grade up. evidently lisa's never had to do that and it's hitting her hard now.
anyone else out there one of those students deemed "gifted" in school? you probably know what i'm talking about if you are. everyone ends up expecting nothing but the best out of you and for it to be perfect when it comes out, but you get to a point where it just doesn't happen like that anymore. you try and try as hard as you can and you just can't keep up with the complete and total straight A's. an elite few can float through their entire school career with them, but it's not as common as a lot of people would like to think they are. even at sumner, there's a lot of people with really good grades but few with straight A's in the upper classes.
i just wanna know why B's and the occasional C are so bad to some people yet excellent to others and what makes it that way.
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