my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
been punched in the gut lately?
how about had your heart ripped out, stomped upon, and put back in, really really damaged?
had your confidence level go from about ninety five down to about twenty five?
your spirit damaged by someone you love and trust?
yeah well, i did a little bit ago. not the first, but the rest of them..yeah..
ashley had told me that today we'd be able to do something. we haven't really been able to in a long time, so i was really looking forward to this, i miss her. i call her a little bit ago to see if she had thought of anything to do, cause we were both gonna think about it, and her mom tells me that she went putt-putt golfing with tury, and that they're going to patrick's (her mom's boyfriend) house for dinner, but that she'd have her call me when she got home.
...
that was the ultimate blow off..
i hung up, and was brought back to the feelings i had when april used to decide that she needed to be around her boyfriend and make false promises of being there for me. about two in the morning, she'd call and say "well, i can't get there tonight, there's something going on, blah blah blah."
...
i never thought ashley would end up being the one to do this to me..
i'm just..speechless..
and i guess kristen isn't back in town yet, cause she isn't home to talk to..
i literally couldn't talk to lisa. i tried, but my voice didn't agree with the shapes of words my mouth made, and i just breathed.
why does this hut so much?
...
i'm breaking promises too. i told myself i'd never cry over somehting like this again. whoopsie...
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.