my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
i find it amazing how you can be talking to someone who loves you and still feel lonely the entire time.
i find it amazing how you can be in a group of people talking and still feel lonely the entire time.
i find it amazing how you can be talking to anyone and still feel lonely the entire time.
is there something wrong with me?
every emotion i own is being taken over by loneliness. when i'm happy, i'm lonely. when i'm calm, i'm lonely. when i'm sad, i'm lonely. when i'm mad, i'm lonely. and so on. and so forth.
it's not like all of these other feelings are gone, they're still there, but no matter what, loneliness pushes its way in with it too.
am i acting when i'm not lonely?
am i lonely when i'm not acting?
does any of this make sense to anyone else?
does it make sense to me?
it almost does, but then it almost doesn't.
life's a bitch and then you die
is what a lot of people live by.
they dont see it like you do,
there's no way that you can prove
that what they believe is wrong
cause they've believed it for too long.
they used to be just like you,
they were all once happy too,
but something happened to change their ways;
i know that i've seen better days.
every night that i'm alone,
i debate picking up the phone
and laying this on someone else...
someone who might be able to help.
but i dont want to put them through this,
i put the phone down, i'm not calling kris.
ashley's not home, that leaves me with a choice.
i could go in the back room and get online,
or give up on this not-so-divine
thing that everyone calls life.
i glance to the kitchen and see the knife,
walk right on by, and...well...you decide
wow, i have no idea where that came from. its true sometimes but...
dont expect the worse choice from that out of me, just couldn't think of anything more to write..
jeez, is that really the way that i'm getting again? i thought i was over all that...
somebody, try to show me something different...its isn't too late yet...but if it isn't fast enough, it will be...
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.