my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
once again, the chat says it best. tonight was a rough night, and...yeah, here goes...and please, no one over-react to what all's in here, cause i'll get over it. i've been worse before, and i've been just fine the next day. but still, this says it better.
landa: dude...
blaze: ::stabs apple to death::
landa: i'm getting, like, aggressively pissy at people...
blaze: DIE
landa: sorry guys....
blaze: GRAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!
blaze: ::stab stab stab stab::
sai: I still think you should talk to my shrink.. I could like, give you my phone card or something.
sai: OH
sev: I love u
blaze: ROOOOAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
sai: Speaking of which.
landa: i dunno
landa: huh?
blaze: ::stab stab::
sai: I GOT A 575 MINUTE PHONE CARD!!!
sai: WOOOOT!
blaze: I GOT A 1000 MINUTE ONE
blaze: WOOOT
landa: go you guys
blaze: ::stab stab stab::
landa: i have niet
sai: Somber, I will call you, don't worry.
blaze: Evil Apple dominion!
landa: *sigh*
blaze: Your leader shall not pass here!!
sai: We'll have another Saturday. ^^
blaze: ::stab stab::
landa: *small smile*
blaze: Turn 'round, yonder army!!
sai: That was fun... You really are great to talk to, Somber.
blaze: Your efforts are fruitless against the mighty steak knife!!!
landa: *_*
landa: tankies
blaze: ::SLICE::
landa: *wonders why soi is stabbing an apple to death*
sai: I mean, I never talk to my real friends that long.. ^^;;
blaze: it is the leader of the Apple clan!
landa: *tries to hide behind sai*
landa: yeah, only person i do that with is kristen most of the time
blaze: It wishes to destroy my plans to conquer Albania!
blaze: ::SLASH::
landa: with ashers, it's three hours of slience most of the time
blaze: ::half an apple flies across the room::
blaze: LOL
sai: ::offers her one of those things that you rest on the top of apples, the push down and the all slice and stuff.....?::
sai: *they
blaze: no thanks
blaze: I've got about 40 mini apples here now
sai: ::shruggies:: Okay
landa: o god..
sai: lmao
sai: ..?
landa: 40 mini apples
landa: she'll kill em
blaze: one is stuck to the knife
blaze: ha ha!
sai: oh, I though something was wrong, lol..
sai: ^^;;
blaze: Trying to thwart my plans!
landa: well...
blaze: Sai, kill this apple!
sai: I mean, something new.....-er...
sai: ::attacks apple::
landa: ><
landa: if i WORD THINGS WRONG, lisa gets pissed or something
blaze: ::offers Landa an apple child::
landa: or hurt
landa: or something of the like
landa: and i can't help it
blaze: tell Lisa to loosen up or I'll eat her ovaries
landa: and i keep on fucking hurting her cause i'm not the way i used to be
sev: oo
landa: and i'm so fucked up right now its not even funny
sai: RAAAA!!! ::bites and scratches apple to it will burn in apple Hell and be eternally damned by the Apple Satan::
landa: *huddles in a corner and rocks back and forth*
sai: ......
blaze: we're all fucked up
landa: *hugging her knees*
sai: ::sits next to Landa::
sai: ::puts arms around her::
blaze: Sai is in love with me, for Gods sake
blaze: how much more fucked up can you get than that?
sai: .......................
landa: ...
sai: ::cough::
landa: well that was about wrong
blaze: lol
sev: oo
landa: *puts an arm around sai too*
blaze: she knows I want her.
sai: ::holds her tight::
sev: ::humps herself::
blaze: ::uses the tip of the knife like a fork and eats the mini apples::
landa: *cries on her hsoulder*
sai: ::motions for Soi and Sev to come over:: AHEM.
landa: *wonders about sev...*
blaze: Landa, come on
blaze: seriously
blaze: we're all messed up
sai: ::rubs her back::
sai: Soi..
blaze: we're all here for each other, too
landa: ...
blaze: No, don't tell me to hush
sai: Just.. leave her alone, she just needs to get it out..
blaze: I'm trying, okay?
blaze: ...
blaze: fine.
landa: ok, see, i get it out, someone gets pissed at me
sai: ...
landa: it happens every fucking time
landa: so i'm NOT getting it out
sai: ::sigh::
blaze: I have never been pissed at you
landa: i'l sit here in my little corner for all fucking time if i have to
sai: No, now Soi's pissed at me.
landa: ok, lemme rephrase that
blaze: and it is ridiculous to think like that
landa: someone gets upset with me
landa: or something of the liks
blaze: No
landa: *like
blaze: I don't get upset either
blaze: or anything like that
landa: what the...
landa: BLAZE WHATTHE FUCK TO YOU DO?!?!
blaze: Nothing!
landa: *turns off caps*
blaze: I heed.
sev has left the room.
blaze: lol
blaze: ::throws apple at her::
sai: ::takes her hands and pulls her up:: I won't let you sit in your corner.
landa: yeah well, it wasn't necessarily you that i was speaking of either
sai: LAG
blaze: okay well
blaze: if someone's going to get pissed at you for trying to let your emotions out
blaze: then who really has the problem?
landa: but you have a nice little part in it som--*shuts up before it gets out of hand*
blaze: ::waves knife like a sceptor::
blaze: No
blaze: keep talking
landa: *wonders how sai pulled her up*
sai: ...
blaze: KEEP TALKING
blaze: OR THE APPLE CLAN WILL EAT YOUR OVARIES
landa: i dont need me
landa: im not procreating
landa: *em
blaze: yes but it will be painful
landa: not if i'm knocked out
sai: Somber..
landa: *hits her head real hard on the table* *passes out*
blaze: Listen here, Landa
landa: hm?
blaze: ::points knife at her with an apple on the tip::
landa: (didnt really do that guys)
blaze: we are your friends
landa: yes guys(gals)?
blaze: and regardless of whether we get upset with you for something you say
blaze: we WILL forgive you
blaze: and you shouldn't bottle up your emotions
sai: Because we love you.
sai: ^_^
blaze: yeah
blaze: that's why I was so fucked up
landa: *raises her hand to speak*
sai: Seriously, Landa.
blaze: NO
blaze: NOT YET
landa: -_-
blaze: making speech!
blaze: We are all in this together
blaze: and we don't want to see you hurt
sai: If you didn't mean EVERYTHING to us, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
blaze: yeah
blaze: we wouldn't just waste our time
landa: *waits for permission*
blaze: we care
blaze: fine, speak
landa: ok, see thing is
blaze: ::eats apple::
landa: i'm not used ot friends doing that. every time that i've let someone in close enough for all that, they end up getting all pissy at me and walk off and enver talk to me agian
landa: i'm sitll learning about this whoel friendship thing
landa: and you guys seem to have it down and all that
sai: We're different, Landa...
blaze: then its time you learned that not everyone is a heartless bitch
sai: Landa, trust me, I know how you feel.
landa: *realises you guys did what i did to you, lol*
sai: I used to really have trust issues.
landa: whats funny
landa: is i look up to you guys, all of you, cause you guys know so much more aobut stuff like this than i di
blaze: I never had trust issues, I was just hateful ::eats apple::
sai: Then I became better friends with Blaze, Mika, Allison, and then you.
landa: and i still DO have trust issues, especially after the "kendall" incident
blaze: and shit like that will happen throughout your life
blaze: its learning to bounce back that is the hard part
blaze: Haven't you seen that movie?
landa: nope
blaze: Bounce, a must-see
blaze: very good
landa: look
sai: This is the third time I've seen this video today..
blaze: what am I looking at?
landa: going from having no friends whatsoever to having a bunch is something that's really hard to deal wth, especially when half of them end up turning their backs on you
landa: that's what happened to me when i got to middle school, and hit me more in sumner
may: brb
blaze: okay, I DO know how that is
may: I'll be on pastelbluesky84
may: coz I'm pulling a prank on my friend
may: :-D
may has left the room.
blaze: right
blaze: anyway
blaze: I know how that feels Landa
blaze: but like I said, you gotta bounce back
may has entered the room.
landa: i dont bounce
landa: i sink
sai: Landa... there's a Barenaked Ladies song that reminds me of you. I don't remember the name, but it goes "..And if you call.. I will answer.. and if you fall.. I'll pick you up.. and if you court.. this disaster.. I'll court you hom
sai: *e."
sai: "I'll court you home..."
blaze: hey Landa
landa: ...?
landa: hm?
blaze: life is shit, right?
landa: yes, this i knew
blaze: and you're going to let shit beat you? =)
landa: yes
landa: like a punching bag
blaze: no you aren't
blaze: don't make me hurt you
blaze: with an apple stem
landa: *sees shit fly by her face*
blaze: I'LL DO IT
blaze: I'M A CRAZY ASS MOTHERFUCKER
landa: *hides behind sai*
blaze: lol
sai: lmao
blaze: see.
landa: yeah well
blaze: we all came from different backgrounds
landa: i'm tired of feeling like i'm gonna cry all the time...
blaze: its okay to cry goddammit
sai: Ooh, wait, it's "I'll POINT you home.."
sai: Trust me, I just did last night.....
blaze: ::belches:: oOh
landa: i've been doing nothing BUT crying for over a week guys
blaze: I haven't cried forever but thats because I'm a heartless bitch
sai: I cried last night because I was worried about losing you guys..
sai: Namely, you two...
landa: DAMMIT
landa: here i go again
landa: aw..
landa: *huggles sai* i'm not going anywhere..
blaze: how would you lose us?
sai: No, I know, but I might..
landa: whoa wait
blaze: why?
landa: sai
landa: what
sai: I told my parents that I'm losing all my friends here, and my only real friends are you guys..
landa: ...
sai: and they made that clear that it scares the shit outta em..
sai: and they hate it..
sai: because all I want to do all day is sit on the computer talking to you guys all day
blaze: I know I shouldn't say this
sai: which isn't all true..
sai: ....?
blaze: buuuut...
may: I eat cheese.
blaze: if that's how it is..
may: O.o
blaze: shut up May
blaze: not now
sai: ...
blaze: uh
blaze: what was I saying?
sai: "if that's how it is..."
landa: "I know I shouldnt say this, buuuut...if that's how it is.."
blaze: oh
blaze: if that's how it is, it might be better for you to lose us
sai: .....
sai: no, it won't.
sai: You see,
sai: that would fuck up my already fucked up life even more that it's already fucked up.
sai: I love you guys more than you can imagine, seriously.
blaze: I didn't say that
landa: actually, i can imagine
landa: i have something like that happening with me...
landa: sai, have your mom talk to me if she has to or something...
sai: lol, no see, they know that you guys aren't stalkers, it's just the fact that they don't want me sitting in my room alone all day.
blaze: DOWNLOADING BINGE
sai: But the fact is
sai: I don't have anyone else to do anything with.
sai: Katherine sits on her ass ALL day
blaze: ::screams like a banshee::
landa: when you get in kc, i'll take you out and do stuff
sai: lol...
blaze: You'll do WHAT?
sai: ^^;;
blaze: Excuse me, but, no you won't.
landa: ...
sai: HEY! HEY!! BRILLIANT IDEA!!
blaze: you can GO places with her
blaze: I will not permit you to take her out
sai: lmao soi.
blaze: hehe
landa: yes sai?
blaze: I luff you Landa
blaze: DOOR
sai: When I drive to KC with my mom...
sai: and stop in Louisville..
sai: We'll pick up Blaze...
landa: love you too hun (and yes, i call everyone hun, deal with it goddammit)
sai: and then go to KC..
sai: And take Landa..
sai: and then drive back to NJ with all you people!!
sai: ^__________^
landa: sai
sai: ......
landa: my parents arent letting me go to long island this summer
sai: ...
landa: i was going to pay and everything
sai: oh..
landa: i doubt i'd get ot go to nj with someone they dont know...
landa: *tries not to cry again8
sai: Well see..
sai: how about this..
sai: If we pick you up and go to NJ..
blaze: ::rolls laughing::
sai: We could go to Long Island, which is only an hour or two away..
blaze: I JUST GAVE A MISSIONARY FIVE DOLLARS
blaze: HAHAHAHA
may: O.o
blaze: she was hot
may: o.O
sai: and then get you a one-way ticket back to KC!
landa: ...
may: I want KFC.
sai: ............WHO?!
may: o.o
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.