my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
i gave myself time to chill out before i got on here and wrote an entry about today. jeez, it was actually a great day, till seventh hour.
all day, i was messin around with everyone, being "normal." i just had fun...something that you all know is totally not so normal for me anymore. just talking with people and all that. third hour, we didn't even really do anything other than start on an experiment then sit there and talk the rest of the hour.
heh, it just feels good to be able to talk to kristen for some reason, i dunno. it's just weird. it's like, i light up talking to her lately. maybe cause we've got about three weks left of school and we're still talking to each other on a daily basis, cause about this time last year we started fighting. it might be because in about three weeks i wont really see her again till school starts up again in the fall. she made it into that summer program, so almost as soon as she gets back from england, she's gone for that. gets back from that, couple days later, she's going to florida, i think -_-. so, as of right now, i'm trying to find out what she and ashley would want to do for my birthday party. right now, it's looking like trying for worlds of fun and actually having fun there for once, i dunno.
5:33
here's what just happened real fast, and no, i refuse to format it, so you wil have to deal, i dont feel like putting in the extra work.
star astray: er..still there?
star astray: ::thinks she might've scared landa away:: o.o
jk. [knows you're on phone hehe]
StargaznTigress: my parents just locked me out of the house in our back yard (fenced in with a padlock) and i was pounding on the door, i paged mom (had my cordless with me cause i had been talking to ashley), called my aunt to call my mom's cell phone
StargaznTigress: and i got my front door key to work in the back door lock and got it before they got the page -_-
StargaznTigress: *reads what you'd said*
star astray: lol! that is so mean o_o
StargaznTigress: dad had gone to feed the dog and forgot i was there -_-
StargaznTigress: i am vapor
StargaznTigress: hear me roar
StargaznTigress: *mew*
star astray: vapor?
StargaznTigress: yes, vapor
StargaznTigress: as in gas
StargaznTigress: as in nonexistant
StargaznTigress: as in no one sees me
star astray: OOOHhh...
StargaznTigress: -_-
star astray: i was confused. caus then you said 'ROAR'
star astray: yea, no one sees me either
star astray: my english teacher has had me all year and still calls me Alison
StargaznTigress: kill it
star astray: my math teacher keeps forgetting my name and she's going w/me on a trip this summer...
StargaznTigress: hm..
yes, my parents love me so much -_-
ALRIGHT THEN!! BACK TO MY POINT!!
in choir, we started working on the masks for tuesday's pops concert. we're doing various disney characters and all that. well, the original plan was to find pics online, print them, copy them, and pass them out for people to color in and attach to sticks and wear as, like, masquerade masks. well, some of the charasters couldn't be found on big pictures. i asked a couple people if they wanted me to draw them for them. i now have about nine to draw -_-. there was a lot going on in that classroom today that had everyone doing something. well, i was in the back of the room drawing. whenever someone else wanted to get everyone's attention, all they had to do was yell. i yelled, no one answered nine times out of ten. there was no one listening to what i was saying, and for a while i was the only one drawing. meg came and started helping, and so did heather. that didn't help much though...
mrs. roberson keeps asking me to do a buncha other stuff while i'm trying to get done what SHE wants done by monday so people can color in the drawings and all that.
there was a big discussion about how the masks should be. whether they should be, like, above our heads, or just be so that they dont cover our mouths or what. we came to a conclusion with about thirty minutes of class left. what really ticks me off is that these people never even tried to draw the masks ontheir own, that they just decided to rely on me totally. yes, i offered to a couple people, but that doesn't mean i want to draw for the whole class.
then i found out that i had to audition for next years choir, as soon as i was getting into a drawing. i was surrounded by papers and people asking me things...and i threw down the things that had been in my hands and lap and got up and stormed into the practice room. i messed up so much sight singing, i would stop, say crap, and start again, which got on mrs. roberson's nerves. ...i couldn't hit a middle D. that's how much my voice is still messed up.
by the way, i didn't get the solo in on my own...meg, ashley, and kim did. even with it being a trio, i still didnt have a chance. the funny thing is, someone totally tirpped up on it (not mentioning names) and she still got in it. she wasn't with the accompnament whatsoever, and didn't correct herself. she tried once, but got worse. am i really that bad...?
so, when the bell rang, i walked with kristen a lil bit then caught sasha as i went to the parking lot and told her what all's going on. this weekend will be nothing but homework for me. i went over to kathy's car and almost cried. i had almost cried right before my audition too...dammit what's wrong with me?! stress didn't used to hit me this bad, and it seems to be getting worse with every time it does hit me.
i know this isn't that emotional, this is just mainly a vent fest...dammit. i wasn't pissed when i started this time. if my parents hadn't locked me out...grr...
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.