my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
oy, i was so mad at myself most of the night. as you already know, yesterday was lisa's birthday AND the 6 month anniversary of 9/11. well, i was planning on being all hyper and stuff like i was in the morning last night and all that so i'd be all happy and stuff for her birthday. if course, mom messes that up. and when she does that, the lonliness comes back and eats me alive, no matter who i'm talking to at the time. i wanted yesterday to be a break for her from having to try and help me and all that, to show to myself that i can do it on my own i guess...to let my little sister have a happy birthday. but, it started again, and i was sad and quiet and all that, and i hurt her so many times without trying to. later on, she got me to feel better and everything again...the one day she shouldn't have to do something like that. one thing she said did stick with me though, and i was thinking about it, but i don't know what to write about it yet. it was something about how people don't think i'm 15 and all when they first see me...she can see it in my eyes that i am.
i guess i'd better be heading off so i'm not late for the bus. i'll write more after school, hopefully. i've got that strawbery hill concert tonight, and i have to leave the house at six for that. here's hopin i'm home before nine, heh. bye ya'll.
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.