my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
ok, i JUST hung up the phone from calling kristen...around three. and it's now 6:32. that's the longest conversation we've been able to have in a while, and it was great to be able to have it. i called her right after my parents left to go get new lenses on my glasses...and that was after two or three fights with them. i just needed to talk to someone, cause i had been crying too much not to. being called a fuck up by your mother to your face isn't my idea of fun.
i'll get into the convo in a little bit. the first fight with my mom, she had come back here to ask me to look up something. i started going to the site and everything to do so. lisa had just signed on and she was upset cause she didn't get her birthday present from me today, which she should have. well, mom came back and started reading over my shoulder, so i asked her to back off some, and she got all pissy at me. "i'm tired of having teenagers telling me what i can and can't do in this house! i swear i'll throw that computer out on the street and you know i will!" she has before with other things...nintendo, tried to sell my guitar, etc. so, that had me almost crying when i was saying bye to lisa cause she had to go so she could get to her friend's party. so we said bye, and i told her i'd try not to cry tonight.
then my parents told me that i needed to go with them cause they were going to get the new lenses on my glasses and that i needed to come with so they could get the sizing. i was about to fix lunch already, so i told them that i was going to do that first, and mom was yelling at me again. then i was a fuck up. they left without me cause i was taking so long. that's when i called kristen since lisa wasn't at home.
i honestly forget what we started talking about, but like i've said before, we can just talk for hours with no reason whatsoever in mind and just keep talking. thing is, most of it actually has meaning. that's the thing that's different with talking to her, what we say actually means something all the time(lisa falls into this too). most people i talk to, that never happens.
i gotta get on and finish this entry later on cause i have to go to meet kristen at cinemark. we get to go see lord of the rings, finally, hehe. more later, bye ya'll.
THE ENDING + 11:05 pm + same night
back to what i was saying before. it's just great being able to talk to someone like that, even if it doesn't happen very often. just knowing that you can feels kinda good. knowing that there's a true friend out there that you can lean on, talk to, and be there to help whenever they need it too. it makes you feel useful at the same time.
"even the smallest person can change the course of the future."
that quote didn't leave me after i heard it in the movie. kinda reminds me of someone, heh. i'm glad kristen was the one i got to go see it with too. heh, she can tolerate my shifting every, like, 15 minutes for three hours...i seriously can't sit still very long...but i'm just kinda happy i saw it with her cause, well, it made me think kinda. if something like that were to happen between us, i would want to go with her the whole way too. (same goes for ashers and lisa.) and the fact that she's one of three people i would trust my life with, heh.
well, it's 11:15, and i have yet to eat dinner...and i gotta get SOME sleep. so, i'll write tomorrow at some point. g'nite ya'll.
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.