my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
today has been a day of html so far. i'm making a new layout for kendall cause she keeps changing it since she can't find one that she likes. i'll be messing with formats and stuff at this diary so i can see what it would look like on diaryland. you may want to check it out from time to time, i'll make some for people if they give me images that they want used. the one that's on there now isn't really exactly what she wants probably, because she forgot to give me a color scheme and title. but, i'll get that from her later on and fix it up. i'll be working on layouts on there just for the hell of it sometimes and saving them, so let me know if you see one that you like, i'll gladly give it to ya, cept for MY layout and any white tiger ones that i make. those are meh babies, and i may or may not use them for myself in the future...i wanna be original dammit! lol.
alright, well, i got to thinking earlier. dad was talking about the car show being this weekend, and that money is tight right now and everything. he's the only adult in this entire family that will talk to me like i'm not ignorent. he's the one who told me what was wrong with mom in sixth grade. no one was going to tell me because i was supposedly too young to be told, i still lived in a land of of rainbows and sunshine and all that. yeah right, i went through hell. so, dad knew i could take it, he was the only one who talked to me like an adult, and still does when we're not at each other's throats.
back to the point, we may not be able to go to the world of wheels this weekend. we've gone every year that i can remember, and we might not be able to go. that's one of the few things that i have to look forward to in february, because we all know what valentine's day does to me. it gets me out of the v-day depression every year. we usually go up to car quest and get the tickets about a week in advance, which we haven't done. there are very few things that my father and i can do together, especially because he works a lot more than he used to, and when he IS home, he's asleep. *hears him snoring in the living room* my dad and i get along just fine most of the time, moreso when we're alone and not around mom. he taught me to play football for gosh sakes! that's why i was a tomboy, and still am in a lot of aspects. i used to go out and work with daddy on cars and come in the house with grease and stuff on my hands. i'd run up to mom and say "look mommie, monster hands!!" then she would go out and "have a talk with daddy", and he'd come inside when he was done and not play with me anymore. this was at the old hose, so i was under five years old.
then there's his 56 chevy bel-air (two doors, harder to find). we used to work on it together all the time. baby blue, i think even original seats and all. it used to be our project, no one else could help or anything. we haven't been able to work on that car in a few years...there's places where the welding (new metal cause of rust) still needs painted, and the bottom edges needs some new metal too. our little dream for it was to get it fixed up enough to put in the car show one year...that may never happen. last i heard, i get it when he dies, so i'm going to fix it up and put it in on my own if i have to...just for dad. i'm still kinda amazed that we just stopped working on it like that, but work got to be more tiring on him, and they're making him work longer hours and all that. he never has time anymore, he's one of only two mechanics at his shop right now, the rest are tire busters (all they can do is batteries and change tires). this summer, i'll be old enough to be a tire buster if there's no other job i can get anywhere, but i would have to work at a different shop. they don't let family work together, it's stupid if you ask me. (yes, landa actually likes working on cars sometimes, and she DOES know how to do SOME things. i can tell when they're cheating someone out of money, hehe.)
well, i'm gonna go for now and leave you with that. this has gotten kinda longer than i intended it to be. i'll write later on tonight, bye ya'll!
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.