my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
here's the poem that i wrote yesterday. yes, this is long, hence why it's not in normal form. it's in stanzas n shtuff, just not line by line, dammit. someone, tell me how to enter without getting page breaks!!!!! anyway, here it is, still untitled, but i'll add one later on.
A bird soars along
with the rest of her flock.
Careless and free
and never alone.
All of a sudden
they leave her behind,
waking up
to find them gone.
She looks around her
and sees at a distance
the specks in the horizon
who were her friends.
She starts to sing,
hopes someone will hear
her cries for help,
of lonliness.
Many others
will fly by and leave her
as she sits and cries
all alone.
The winter comes
and still she's there
waiting for someone
to love her.
In the cold
she tries to stay warm
she stays in the tree
and thinks.
"Did they ever
like me for me?
Did I not pay attention?
Did they like me at all?"
She comes to grips
with how things are.
Spring comes,
and they return.
She watches them
as they fly away.
Not a one comes
to even say hi.
All of a sudden,
you see the bird falter
as she flies all alone
looking for a new home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
All this is true
in someone's life.
Friends grow apart,
and friendships die.
That life is mine,
I saw it today.
I sat alone
while they all talked.
No one asked me
if I was okay.
I knew they could see me,
I just wonder why.
Why is it now
that they chose to ignore me?
I've always helped them,
but they won't help me.
What did I do
for them to leave me?
Are we growing apart?
Or did I never see...
Have I always been
their tag along?
Always unwanted,
never listened to?
The solitary outcast
who no one talks to?
The one who's forced
to be all alone?
Now that I think,
that seems the truth.
They never listened
to what I said...
I was told to shut up,
"No one listens to you!
Why are you here?!"
That cuts like a knife.
Always thinking
that I had REAL friends.
People who care,
I guess not, at school.
I'm gonna go now,
and rearrange things.
Priorities, thoughts,
and basically my life......
- Yolanda Daniels 1-07-02
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.