my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
me and kendall's mom talked for a little while earlier, and i fucked up kendall's life even more. her mom asked me what she was talking about when she said there was something oging on but hse was afraid of what she might do if she told her. well, i told her mom that my mom thinks all this is fake, which is what i thought she was talking about. her mom doesn't want my mom talking to her anymore, and doesn't want me talking to kendall as much now. what the hell did i do to recieve al the fucking blame for all this?! my mother has NO control of my thoughts and actions, i believe everything that's going on. i trust kendall. i trust in everything that's been said and all that. here's what happened between me and kendall after her mom got off. well, most of it, all of it was huge.
kendall: i wish you would just some things stay with us..my mom doesn't have to know everything
landa: alright, i fucked up, what else is
new?
kendall: stop talking like that
kendall: i am making a new diary now.......
landa: alrighty then....
kendall: are you going to make on too
landa: eventually
landa: i take it you meant me
kendall: what
landa: *read your diary*
kendall: what about it
landa: i was asking if you meant me
kendall: meant you to what?
landa: nothing
kendall: i didn't blame you for anything jersey
kendall: I didn't.....
kendall: i said that in there
landa: alright, i know
landa: i dunno what i meant now..
landa: i forgot..
kendall: ok
landa: i guess i should say now it's been great knowing you...
kendall: we can still talk jersey
landa: yeah well, not as much and it's not gonna be the same
kendall: well, my mom is going to let us talk for the rest of this week, then next week only four days then the next only three.....
kendall: then it is going to be email everyday and talking once a week
landa: .....
kendall: don't shut out on me now
kendall: jersey talk to me
landa: what the hell am i supposed to say?
kendall: fine, i am just going to go
landa: i basically fucked up your life kendall
kendall: it seems like you are mad at me
kendall: or something
kendall: bte
landa: i'm not mad at you
landa: i'm just...i dunno
kendall: well, you won't tlak
landa: i'm mad in general
landa: i'll talk
kendall: well.......
landa: well...whaddya wanna talk about
kendall: i dont know
landa: *leg asleep...hurt like hell...*
am i right to think all this is my fault? i mean, I told her mom about what my mom said. I gave her the addy for my diary, forgetting that there was a link to kendall's on there. and now I feel like shit and am going to go get the last of my code red and sit in the living room and be depressed. love ya, hate ya, depends on who you are. bye.
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.