my world enchanted
landa; eighteen; attached lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
everything i dreamed
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.
my life in shadow
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.
last night was..interesting. i stayed on to talk to lisa, even though i was going to get off and do my math. that never got done, but it was a good reason this time. atleast one of the lessons was done before, or i would be totaly screwed. anyway, lisa and i talked for a good...um...2 hours, maybe more. we were on my sn that no one knows about so i could just talk to her and not have other stupid crap goin on all around me. she sounded really hurt, so, yeah, i ignored everyone else. not that hard to do, cept i still had to try to help kristen with her homework. i did it though, hehe. lisa was really crying, and did a lot more than i have ever been present for. i felt so much like there was nothing i could do for her...living down the street would have really come in handy this time. but, eventually, we started talking about something else, my talent show audition. she's the ony one who has straight up supported me so far. everyone else nonchaluntly says o, you'll do good. but lisa truely supports me on this. the fact that she can't see it even if i DO make it in still hurts though. about thistime, mom anddad started yellingat me to get off cause i had been on the phone late trying to help kristen. that was a homework call, it SHOULD have been okay. but, anyway, they kept on yelling at me when i was trying to say goodbye to lisa, which took a little longer last night. i started crying and crap again. not a fun thing. but, i got off, and checked my offline email, which i have one of for 2 out of 3 of my emails, mua ha ha. (dad just started bitching at me to do something as i walk out the door. tears are showing up again.) then, i truely got off.
i went in and ate dinner and all that. they decided to mix something that i hate eating, so i had my stupid lil porkchop and got a breakfast pocket cause i hate potatoes the way they cook them. they start yelling at me for that. i knew that i needed to feed the cats n stuff, but i came back to start on my hmework (which is 2 hours later than i had hoped) and i get yelled at to feed the cats. i fed kiddy (who i payed extra attention to last night) and went out to feed milo. penny (the dog) had dumped over and was eatingout of one of the trash cans. so, it was MY thing to clean up. i'm sorry, but that is NOT my animal. i got everything except the wet paper, cause i don't even want to know why it was so wet. well, dad got officially pissed about that. he's never been pissed at me before. right now, we are not talking, which is weird. that's mom's job, to not talk to me. now it's both of them.
last song i heard before i went to sleep was the calling's "wherever you will go". my favorite song, which reminds me of lisa every time. first thing on when i wake up...the calling. it's been on a WHOLE LOT here lately. i am soooo getting that cd.
i need to go so i can get my school stuff together. never thought that i would have enough time to write so much in the morning. o, have to throw this in there, i love you lisa! (not like that, you little pervs) more after school, on a new entry, cause this one is long enough. bye.
layout and all content İcoyotesabre 2005. images manipulated in paint shop pro 8, obtained through yahoo search.